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I’m armed and dangermouse

When the weather gets cold, many of us know that critters search for warmth.  This fall, critters have started searching for warmth inside my home.  This is not my happy face.  Many years ago I dealt with a rodent problem before and that experience taught me that I never want to experience critters again.  What happened?  Damn mouse ran over my foot on my way to the potty in the dark while pregnant with my youngest.  EW.

Given my previous rodent experience, I was grateful that so far I hadn’t noticed a critter.  A couple of months ago, however, I started getting a weird feeling.  No it wasn’t gas.  I suspected there might be a mouse in the basement based on what looked like little droppings behind a file cabinet.  I kept my mouth shut, though, until I was certain.  Now I know. For sure (The Man didn’t believe at first).  I also know this: those damn critters are smart.

The Man was conscripted to take on this battle.  His first tactic was a humane “trap”.  It’s a tunnel looking thing that when tripped, closes the door.  The Man put peanut butter in and waited.  It didn’t take long, maybe a day.  The little sweetheart not only got caught, but CHEWED his way out of the bottom of the thing.  The Man tried to show me.  LIKE I WANNA SEE THAT???? He seemed surprised that I wasn’t interested.   At that point, we discussed poison, cuz he was mad; like it was a personal affront.  I don’t like the idea of poison for obvious reasons (ever smell a dead critter? Lovely.  NOT.).

Since I convinced The Man that poison was out, I suggested he call an exterminator. But noooooo, Ghengis Khan wants to do battle.  Ok buddy, but you’re on your own.  Next he purchased the dreaded snap trappy thing.  I’ve seen that thing in action and lemme tell you what, Freddy Kruger ain’t got nuthin on those nasty things.  That stupid trap is in the room where I keep my deep freezer and now I’m unwilling (translation: scared ) to go in there to avoid seeing the carnage.

Did I mention The Man is outta town? Yeah, so if the thing is dead in there, aint no one here going near it.  As a matter of fact, Pumpkin and I can’t even sit in the basement because she saw droppings and now she’s scared (that’s what she gets for letting her friends eat candy down there on Halloween) and won’t sit down there with me.  My office is in the basement and sometimes I like to work down there while she watches her “shows”.

There’s much more later. Don’t touch that dial!

Regarding Queen of Everything

Her highness is still queen of planet blortnick and also a MODEL.

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