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Armed and dangermouse part deux

I woke up this morning with a lot on my mind.  Mice.  I decided that I’m gonna take control of the situation, a la that really famous general warrior lady, whatshername.  So, I did some research on The Googles and discovered humane methods of attack:

  • Ammonia (check)
  • Cayenne pepper (check)
  • Spearmint oil (check)
  • Garlic cloves (check)
  • Moth balls (check)

I’m getting started this afternoon.  Man, the house is gonna smell goooooood!

More later.

LATER

I came home from the armory (aka Target) prepared for battle.  First I prepared the battlefield.  I littered the yard and the house with moth balls (uh huh, I know what you’re thinking. Smelly!)  Second, I cut up some garlic cloves and mint leaves and put them together in pouches.  I don’t think the websites called for cut up garlic, but I want it to work so, whatever, right?   I then placed the pouches in strategic locations throughout the house.  As if this wasn’t enough, I positioned Bounce dryer sheets everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Then, as if the house wasn’t aromatic enough, I put a dab of mint oil on the lightbulb. What was I thinking? Dunno.  I neglected to use the cayenne pepper and the ammonia mainly because I forgot about them. And looking back, I don’t think the house needed any ammonia fumes.

So…days go by. We’re busy. Everyone complains about the stench. Except me.  Good news, not seeing any new evidence of mousies!  Until…(dramatic music please) I  open my lazy susan in the kitchen. Ew. EW. BIG FAT F&*^^%ING!!! EW!!!! There is EVIDENCE in there!!!  Ok so now I’m done. DONE. I call Pest Control and instead of giving them the “hello this is mrs nicey nice blah blah blah…” I laid right into them: “I have mice. How soon can you get here?”  Two hours later I had an inspector in my home.  He was neither surprised nor impressed by my mouse trickery.  I scheduled my initial treatment and set off to work with instructions for cleaning up after these little hoarders.

Once’t again, we’re at the armory (Target), but this time, getting plastic tubs.  I missed a really FABULOUS party to clean out my kitchen cabinets.  I will admit, though it was rather cathartic to throw away 2 year old peanut butter in the process.  I emptied, I wiped (bleach and water, thank you), I packed in plastic.  While I’m vacuuming stuff, the dog is barking and nipping at the vacuum cleaner, cuz, you see, he’s as neurotic as the other people in this house are (present company excluded).  Bailey’s barking and Pumpkin’s chatting make for a long evening of work.  Four garbage bags (yes I said four), and almost as many hours later, I’m done.  And I’m beat.

Although I was tired and sore, I wasn’t too tired to give everyone their instructions. Several times.  Their instructions:

  • Take up the dog’s food when he’s done eating it
  • Close all the cabinet doors
  • Don’t leave food around
  • Don’t eat on the couch
  • Don’t eat on the couch
  • Don’t eat on the couch
  • Wipe off the counter BEFORE and AFTER you use it
  • Don’t eat on the couch

More later after the professionals arrive.

Regarding Queen of Everything

Her highness is still queen of planet blortnick and also a MODEL.

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