I am not my hair

I am not my hair. Or so I thought. In the most recent past, I’ve spent a lot of money on my hair. You may not realize (or give a crap), but African American hair requires a lot of upkeep to keep it, well, up. Ha. I mean it’s expensive to keep your hair looking how you want. Or at least it can be. I, prolly like many other women, have been through many bad hair days and experiences. The thing is, most of  them were at my own hand (translation: my fault).  This most recent hair experience, however, was not my fault. At least as far as I can figure out.

I started noticing hair loss during the winter of 2009.  I was recovering from a hysterectomy and of course, couldn’t get to the salon (‘my’ people call it the beauty shop) or out of the bed for quite awhile. Research on the internet told me that hair loss was possible after surgery and exposure to anesthesia.  It was a slightly unbelievable theory, but one I held on to because I couldn’t come to any other kind of conclusion.  Fast forward to early summer. Hair has returned to its “normal” state and everything seems fine. By mid to late summer my hairdresser even agrees to color my hair (she’d been putting me off for months).  I make my debut as a redhead and I love it!

Fall comes and so does my memory decline.  I’ve blogged about all of this before but lately it seems relevant again.  Sometime later I notice a difference in my hair. In seems shorter in spots, so I ask for a shorter pageboy.  Then my hairdresser notices something odd about my hair: it’s shorter in some spots than others, especially in the back.  It’s a very noticeable difference so she has to take me much shorter in the back to make it look less like a hack job and more like a deliberate style.  She takes it down so short it looks like peach fuzz in the back, but keeps the front long. She’s very confused and upset and not surprisingly, so am I.  Just two weeks before (around Thanksgiving) I had longer hair! At the same time I had a friend going through chemo and who lost her long beautiful curly locks.  I was ashamed to feel bad about my own hair loss, cuz what the hell did I have to complain about? Nothing, right? Riiiiiight.

But, I kept on moving sporting my new Sporty Spice look.  I called it the Grumpy Spice look. I’ve said many times, “it’s only hair, right? It grows back.”  I was counting on this to be true. Meanwhile I start to go to doctors and more doctors and tests, blood tests and everything else I’ve blogged about too many times.  I’m researching and talking to people and asking my mother for suggestions: Thryoid? Alopecia (just a fancy name for baldness)? Poor nutrition? Medications? Hormones? Chemical hair treatments? MayoClinic.com became my go to source for information.  You can find more causes here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hair-loss/ds00278/dsection=causes.  By now it’s the dead of winter again. I buy a wig because I’m easily chilled and now that I have very little hair on the back of my BIG head, I’m cold.  I’ve worn wigs before so I’m fairly comfortable with them.  I have no problem telling people it’s a wig. The people who deal with me are used to seeing me too. They may think I’m psychotic, but, whatever. I also name my wigs.  Now you prolly think I’m psychotic. But whatever.

So I’m wearing my new wig. I’m rockin it, actually.  But it’s dark brown like my natural hair color. My hairdresser sells me a blond wig cut in a pageboy similar to what I normally wear. And. I. love. It. LOVE IT! So now I’m a blond!  And I am REALLY rockin that blond wig baby! I wear it for a couple months. By then my hair has started to grow back in in the back so I give Colanga (the wig) a rest.  I’m seeing my hairdresser weekly for hot oil conditioning treatments which seem to be working. My hair is not long, but at least it’s stopped falling out (as fast as it was). 

I have no idea what the future holds for my hair. Sometimes I get so frustrated with it I am tempted to shave it all off but my hairdresser would have a FIT. Not to mention the Man might not like a bald wife.  But then I could rock a new wig every day, how cool would that be?

Course, now that I’m on this new healthy semi-vegan-vegetarian diet rich in fruits and vegetables and VITAMINS, maybe a) I’ll feel so HAWT that I wont care that my hair is not growing back as fast as I want or b) my hair will grow back faster and more luxuriouser (I know) than before? Or 3) my boobs will grow so big no one will bother to look at my face!

p.s. (i’m just messin with ya: i know that ‘c’ comes after ‘a’ and ‘b’ not ’3′)

Regarding Queen of Everything

Her highness is still queen of planet blortnick and also a MODEL.

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