A sample text widget

Etiam pulvinar consectetur dolor sed malesuada. Ut convallis euismod dolor nec pretium. Nunc ut tristique massa.

Nam sodales mi vitae dolor ullamcorper et vulputate enim accumsan. Morbi orci magna, tincidunt vitae molestie nec, molestie at mi. Nulla nulla lorem, suscipit in posuere in, interdum non magna.

How the hell did I end up in the suburbs?

Ive been kicking this idea around in my head for a couple weeks now, but of course, when I finally sit down at my computer, I forget that I wanted to blog about this topic.  While blog surfing, I came across a website called productive flourishing by some guy named Charlie. One of his blog posts was called: do you have the weirdo syndrome? Which can be found here: http://www.productiveflourishing.com/do-you-have-the-wierdo-syndrome/.  If, according to Charlie, you want to be part of the crowd but know you’re at your best when you’re not, then you have the weirdo syndrome.  This  thought goes so well with my blog title.  Frequently I look around my neighborhood (mostly while walking the dog) and wonder what the hell I’m doing in the suburbs.  I feel like I don’t belong here.

I never pictured myself as someone who would live in the suburbs. Sure, I grew up in the ‘burbs but I knew I was destined to live an uber cultural urban life in some city. I knew I would attend art exhibits, wine tastings, classical music concerts, and go to bars and clubs.  Oh wait. I actually DID do that when I lived in Austin.  But anyway.  The appeal of big city life to me was, as an introvert (see previous posting here: http://www.iyampam.com/?s=introvert ) I am at my best when I’m alone or left to my own thoughts. And, in a big city, you can be invisible and are left to your own thoughts.  In a big city, you can walk the streets, shop the stores, and ride mass transit and not have to make eye contact (prolly safer not to) or make small talk with strangers.  You keep to yourself and are left to yourself.

The problem is I have kids. To be sure, many families raise children in the city. That’s for them. But for me, I wanted something different. Not better, just different.  I remember bits and pieces of my childhood, roaming the streets of my neighborhood going to friend’s houses, the park, etc.  Fun times. I wanted those experiences for my kids.  I’m sure the city life affords city kids a different kind of good time, but it was one that I wasn’t familiar with. I went into the city frequently when I was young. That was before the big shopping mall craze.  You had to go downtown to buy clothes and eat at nice restaurants. And to see New Edition live in concert. So, I have fond memories of the city too. But to play? No place better than the neighborhood streets and parks of my old ‘hood.  So I did that. I brought my children to the suburbs to grow up.

So now I live in the suburbs for my kids but I feel like a weirdo.  I’m not like the other moms. First of all, I’m black. There aren’t a lot of us out here. Second, I like vodka. A lot. Third, I hate making small talk at the bus stop (but I do it because it’s the right thing to do).  Fourth, I wear blacks and browns and navy blue. I don’t wear florals and bright colors.  I really don’t want to fit in. I don’t want to talk about the same issues that suburban mommies talk about. Sure, I like shopping and pretty things as much as the next woman, but I can certainly talk about world politics too.  But, I do it. Why? Cuz I don’t want my kids to be labeled as the children of the Weirdo lady with the little white dog who barks at everyone (dog not me).

Remember the movie/book About a Boy? The mom was a hippie/free spirit type and her kid was a dork. No friends, etc because of her.  Who wants that for their kids? And don’t give me that crap about real friends will like them no matter what. Kids don’t care about that.  Its hard being a kid today. My kids have enough against them right now that the LAST thing they need is a mom with the Weirdo Syndrome.  Kids need to fit in. And as someone who didn’t and still doesn’t fit in, I don’t want that for my kids.  If they don’t fit in anywhere its because of their own weirdness, not mine.

So, that’s how I ended up in the suburbs. Maybe when the kids are out of the house hubby and I will move into the city.  Either way, I’m a weirdo, but in the suburbs I’m in disguise.  I’m kinda like an undercover weirdo.  Or a spy.

Yes, occasionally I did wear a crown to the bus stop. And a cape.  But you gotta keep life fresh and interesting sometimes, non?

Regarding Queen of Everything

Her highness is still queen of planet blortnick and also a MODEL.

4 comments to How the hell did I end up in the suburbs?