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thinking things through

the good news about laying around this morning is that i had an opportunity to think about things rather than just ignore them. cuz that’s generally my m.o. ignore it and it’ll go away. looking at some of my helpful websites i realize that they are not so helpful. they mean well, but tips on how to deal with stress dont really work for someone who won’t deal with stress, right?  and so…as a result of not dealing with stress for 25 or so years, i have a host of issues. like my hair falling out. like memory loss. although that stuff could still be attributed to thyroid issues.  or a combination of both. 

i like the idea of uplifting quotes but when it comes right down to believing in them, they sound sappy and trite. angels work for some people but not me. i’m not inspired by an angel. dont get me wrong i think if you believe in them thats great for you and i dont mind the idea of a higher power looking out for me, but thats about it.  angel prayers dont work for me. nor does all this lovey dovey stuff, either: find beauty in the sunrise and blah blah blah. again, dont get me wrong. i like the sun and its warmth as much as the next person, but give me a break.   tried yoga. doesnt work for me. i can’t “quiet” my thoughts. although the stretching is kinda nice. what i mostly respond to are self help books: reading about people who’ve had issues and how they overcame them and hoping there is something there that i can use. AND music. music has always comforted me. mostly still classical music. soothing.  or sometimes that kind of worldly, earthy pan flutey sound mixed with ocean sounds. i like that stuff too. but still. i cant get my thoughts to “quiet”.  wonder why? i still enjoy reading when i can concentrate, but again, i’m not attacking any issues when i read, only avoiding them.

so, how does a person who has spent her whole life avoiding difficult situations and issues and feelings begin to approach the causes of her stress?  yeah i dont know. mostly i prefer to laugh and pretend like everything’s ok. cause laughing is more fun. 

meanwhile. i’m getting that anxious, twisty feeling in my stomach. thanks, pristiq.

Regarding Queen of Everything

Her highness is still queen of planet blortnick and also a MODEL.

Love is closed.