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most revealing appointment ever. EVER.

So…when you think of ptsd you think of soldiers returning home for war, no? soldiers so shell shocked they can’t function in society.  or maybe victims of terrorism (9/11) or something, right? not your run of the mill housewife type person, right? right. well guess again.

had a long intake yesterday with a neuropsychologist. we discussed everything EVERYTHING that’s ever happened to me. she took lots of notes, starting with did i remember anything about my birth (really? i’m experiencing memory probs and you want me to remember my birth?). anyway, turns out, i’ve suffered alot of trauma in my life. no really. yeah i thought i had some pretty crummy experiences sent my way, but hey, who hasnt? putting it all out there like that helped me to see two things: one, that i’ve been through some things and two, i dont deal with things properly (not news). so. her very tentative tentative diagnosis was possible ptsd. huh? who knew? and possible subclinical thryoid issues (not discussing THAT today).

what are the symptoms of ptsd? well according to psychcentral: “Most people with posttraumatic stress disorder repeatedly re-live the trauma in the form of nightmares and disturbing recollections during the day. The nightmares or recollections may come and go, and a person may be free of them for weeks at a time, and then experience them daily for no particular reason. They may also experience sleep problems, depression, feeling detached or numb, or being easily startled. They may lose interest in things they used to enjoy and have trouble feeling affectionate. They may feel irritable, more aggressive than before, or even violent. Seeing things that remind them of the incident may be very distressing, which could lead them to avoid certain places or situations that bring back those memories. Anniversaries of the event are often very difficult.”  Yeah. so. i’m not the victim type. but, yeah, most of that is me. but i’m so good at covering it up you’d never know.
but, i guess after a lifetime (possibly since teens) of ignoring things and not dealing with things, it leaks out. however it wants. ok so i possibly have ptsd. kinda makes sense. so now what? well, there are more tests to be done. need to do some cognitive testing to see where my brain is at. (i’m not so sure why though anymore, but ok)  so ptsd can affect brain functioning: memores and stuff.  i guess after all these years my brain has just had enough. but that’s just one possible diagnosis. as i said earlier i might have some kind of subclinical thryoid issue that i might blog about later. if ptsd is a possible diagnosis it makes sense. only about half of the problem. thryoid would also make sense, which is what i ORIGINALLY went to the doctor for.
wouldnt it be cool if i could be diagnosed with ptsd and then i could get a psyciatric service dog to help me??? not that i really need any help, but wouldnt it be fun to have a well behaved pooch to go everywhere with you?
oh yeah. and btw. i went back on my meds yesterday evening. per the neuropsychogist’s suggestion. and NOW it makes sense:  i’m not depressed. but ptsd can be helped with antidepressents. so here we are. sort of full circle. wonder if i could get some medicinal marijuana? heheheheeee

Regarding Queen of Everything

Her highness is still queen of planet blortnick and also a MODEL.

Love is closed.